Seriously?

and then she was 6...

2010-09-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

from there...

to here...

here...

and here...

to here...

and going there...

to a lifetime of firsts...

and discovery never-ending...

and more proud moments than I ever thought possible...

here's to taking after...

but also forging a path as unique as you are...

here's to those bright eyes...

and here's to discovering new reasons to love you every single day.

Today, you are 6...

sassy, smart, scared

loved like you could not comprehend...

Your arrival brought many adventures...

worries, joys, wonders, sleepless nights,

"you are my sunshine" on repeat as you (hopefully) fall asleep...

The startling & scary realization that i see so much of me in you...

and sometimes praying so hard to not let that be true...

If only to protect you.

We've blinked and suddenly

here we are.

and then, she was 6.

You are the best thing that ever happened to me SC...

and I will love you forever & always & no matter what & to the moon & back.

momma

I'll read...and remember.

2010-08-30T09:44:00.000-07:00

S's 1st grade teacher sent home a sheet asking parents to volunteer to read to the class.

Now there are many, many things about being a parent that I just don't groove with. I'm not great at getting down on the floor & playing. My patience level, even at best, is not enough to carry me through a session of Barbies or Batman. My mind wanders. Selfish, I know. I've tried. Lord knows I've tried. And I have gotten a wee bit better. A wee bit.

But reading to my kiddos is a whole different story. This I love. As a kid, I loved books. As an adult, I love books. I will rarely say no to my kids if they want to buy a book. I love changing my voice & inflection to suit the story, I enjoy getting animated as I read. I really hope to bring the story to life for my kids.

Needless to say, I immediately checked my calendar & signed up for two dates to visit & read. Mrs. H (S's teacher) sent home an updated list of parent readers and I was explaining to S about how I excited I was for my dates to come up. During this conversation (which occurred last Thursday), we discovered that there was no one signed up for tomorrow (Friday). S BEGGED me to email her teacher and raced to her room to select a book for me to read. I futilely attempted to explain to her that there was no guarantee Mrs. H would need me tomorrow.

Lucky for me, she gladly accepted my offer to come read. I told S before she left for school that I would see her a little sooner than pick-up time because I was coming to read to her class. She beamed. My heart melted. And something else struck me:

That I needed to remember the moments when she is proud to show off her mom. Here is my Facebook post from that day:

Today I will go to school & read to Sophia's class, both because she begged me to & I want to. Today I will try very hard to remember & hold the memory of my daughter wanting me around & actually being excited about it. Because I know, that before I know it, all she'll want from me is cash & car keys & I will want the memory of today to hold onto. (I think I'll even bring the camera!)

And so I went. Bringing with me a few of our favorite family books: this one & this one.
The kids gathered around the reading chair & the sight of 23 sets of big, anticipating eyes was so overwhelming at first that I almost began to feel nervous.
But when I opened the book & began to read and saw just how closely they were paying attention, any nervousness washed away and I became intent on bringing the book to life for them, just as I do for S & W.

And, guess what?

Twenty minutes later, I was getting bear hugs & "Thank You Mrs. Gleason's" by most of the class. And hiding a few tears...Even W got a bunch of "High Fives" from his sisters' classmates.

I will remember that day. I'll cling to it when the day comes when the last thing my girl wants is for her mother to show up at school. I'll cling to this memory when she's learning to drive, when she's graduating high school, when she thinks she knows it all & I know nothing.

I'll cling to it. (What I won't have is pictures. Because someone forgot to charge the battery in her camera!)

keep calm & carry on,
xoxo,
a

Welcome Back to Me...

2010-08-16T08:09:00.001-07:00

Hello Blog...
It's been waaaaay too long & I have neglected you terribly.
But no more.
(I hope...)
Because I have made a pact, with my lovely friend Laura, to stop neglecting our blogs. (Check hers out too, she's amazing)
We have made a promise to blog at least once a week.
And cheer one another on.
We can do this...
Even if we are the only ones who read each others words, it will be worth it.
Because it's really just about getting the words out of my head & off my heart, kinda like that song "Breathe (2am)" by Anna Nalick, which goes something like this:

"2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to..."

Cuz, really, if I admit it to myself...
I need the words to come out, one way or another.
Because, if they stay trapped in my head, I will, most certainly, explode.
Sooner or later...

Anyway...
I've been seeing this cool thing on some of the blogs I read.
A "What is happening right now..." sort of thing.
And I dig it.
So. That is where I am choosing to begin again.
Enjoy.

listening: to W giggle as he watches Wipeout
eating: nothing yet, i tend to neglect breakfast
drinking: coffee...it's morning
wearing: jeans & a tee i threw on to take S to her first day of school, changing soon
feeling: a bit overwhelmed. this is going to be a busy week
weather: sunny & warm, NOT HOT. which is what it has been for way.too.long
wanting: a day to myself, to read, to make stuff, without responsibility looming over my head
needing: see above
thinking: perhaps i should get off the computer & get in the shower
enjoying: writing this post!
wondering: how the girls first day of 1st grade is going...le sigh.

keep calm & carry on...
xoxo,
a

of no particular importance...

2010-01-20T07:29:00.000-08:00

*i took this photo a couple of years ago when we vacationed in Grand Cayman...the only reason it is showing up here today is because i feel like you should have something to look at while you're reading. and, unfortunately, i have been quite remiss about taking photos lately, so i have nothing new to share, photo-wise. need to work on that...
*i love it when the girl comes home with Scholastic book orders. it brings me a sense of nostalgia. i remember being so excited as a kid when the book van came to our school. i would beg my mom for book after book. when i worked the book fair at her school last fall, i was like a kid in a candy store. i just can't say no to books for my kids.
*watching a young boy pulled from the rubble in Haiti this morning brought tears to my eyes. i cannot begin to fathom the strength & spirit it took to stay alive for a week after the earthquake. i love this CNN link about how anyone can help. we donated to Save the Children. rescues still happening this long after the quake, when it seems that all hope should be long gone, simply prove to me that God is good.
*the boy turns 3 in March. that means many things, but one i am dreading: potty-training. i have never met a more stubborn, bull-headed little boy. both of his grammies bought him "big boy" underpants for Christmas in hopes to nudge him down the potty path. i washed and folded them this morning and was cooing over how cute they were and wondering if they would still fit him when he decides he is ready to go (literally)!
*this blog has been seriously cracking me up lately. so has this one. and this, love their books. i love that there is a sisterhood of "certain kinds" of moms out there. makes me feel validated in a warped sort of way.
*i was going to make a statement about politics, but decided against it. that's probably a good thing.
*the husband and i dropped the kids off at grandma & papa's last weekend to head to Des Moines, IA for his annual work holiday party. the past few years we've gone up on saturday (it's only a 2 hour drive), gone to the party in the evening, and headed back after brunch on sunday. this year, we decided to make a weekend out of it and leave on friday. conveniently i started to get sick on the drive, cough, cough, coughing. nice start to what was supposed to be a lovely romantic weekend. despite getting worse throughout the weekend (i couldn't even go to the holiday party, that's how bad i felt :-( we did manage to have two AMAZING meals at Centro. if you ever find yourself in Des Moines, GO. don't think about it. JUST GO. trust me. thank you so much Jen (whose work & blog you should check out, she is amazing) for the recommendation!
*i am loving seeing all the sneak peaks for CHA, especially the ones from Tim Holtz. his line for sizzix makes me swoon...
**well, i have babbled and bored y'all enough for one day. be happy.
xoxo
a

iTweet...

2010-01-10T17:57:00.000-08:00

i made a tweet cloud...
not at all surprised by my most "tweeted" words.
not surprised at all!

pounding coffee...

2010-01-08T08:02:00.000-08:00

i think i have finally figured out my personal key to keeping up with my little blog here: sit and type, stream-of-conscious style. no analyzing or fretting about what to say...which is what i tend to do and, ultimately, get nothing done and leave my blog neglected and hanging lonely in cyber-space for months. so, if you like random, let's play. if you don't, pick another blog. also, while i am a total stickler for spelling, i just can't be bothered to hit the shift key to capitalize very often. if you find this annoying or bothersome, you know what to do.

here goes...
*i have been pounding coffee this morning like a mad woman. probably a reaction to the third day in a row stuck in the house with kids.
*i have gotten precious little done, despite being stuck in the house. likely reason: my kiddos...one is sick and extra needy, one is wound up and bouncing off the walls. both are hanging on me. a lot.
*despite the stellar form in the photo above, i am a horrible bowler. now, it could have been the hang-over, it was January 1st after all. it could have been the beers we were drinking while bowling, but i, i will attribute it to Wii bowling. you see, Wii bowling gives one a false sense of being a bowling genius, when truly one is not. like myself.
*my kids are still on Alaska time, which is three hours behind CST. this means they are up late. trying to put them to be is futile and frustrating. the snow days are not helping. i am too selfish to make them get up at what should be their normal time, because i can actually have a little peace. i am too lazy to fight with them at 8pm about staying in their beds and going to sleep. i never said i was an ideal parent.
*time for another cup of coffee. excuse me.
*i'm back.
*i have been obsessively listening to a mix i made on my iPod i call "remember when." it is comprised mostly of songs that remind me of something in the past. and not necessarily the long ago past. maybe just a few months ago. in fact, it is playing as i type. maybe i should share it on the blog. good idea, thanks.
*i am GOING TO DO THIS CHALLENGE. #5, PBP Challenge Blog, founded by my dear friend Sasha Holloway.
*college football is over. nfl football is drawing to a close. this pains me. i will miss football. and watching golf just won't be the same with out Tiger. i admit it. i love Tiger. i had him on a pedestal. this whole infidelity business has pained me greatly. sigh.
*i could learn to love hockey. we went to an Alaska Aces game over Christmas and it was a total blast. i love the primal nature. i like the fights. i like the fast pace.

okay well, i am being summoned back to "real life."
xoxo
a

random 12.31.09...the end of a decade.

2009-12-31T13:00:00.000-08:00

too many thoughts bouncing around in my head today.
not certain why.
seemed smart to get it all out, so here goes...please excuse the rambling.

*this song going through my head, especially the part beginning with "2am and i'm still awake" sort of sums up how i feel about journaling, writing...
*alaska is amazing, i could drive and stare out the window for hours, winter or summer.
*don't much like the idea of a "new year's resolution." seems like when you attach "new year's" to your resolve, it becomes in a sense, unattainable, like something bound to fail. i understand how attractive a new year is, in terms of a fresh start or a clean slate, that makes sense. but it's like saying "i'm going on a diet" instead of "i am going to make a lifestyle change to eat healthier and exercise because i truly care about my health and well-being." to me, it's more like a temporary fix for a bigger issue. we shouldn't feel like we have to wait until a new year to do something positive for ourselves...
*cannot wait to have an adult night out this evening.
*i have a copy of this sitting next to me, just waiting for me to open it and finally learn how to use PSE, something i have been wanting to do for way too long.
*so very bummed that football season is drawing to a close. absolutely loved playing fantasy this season...did well too! (better than my hubby!)
*feeling quite pensive today...
*i have not watched an episode of Criminal Minds in over a week and i am about to go into withdrawals.
*loving Twitter lately.
*being thousands of miles away from home with sick kids kinda stinks.
*seems ironic that we traveled to alaska for christmas, narrowly escaping a winter storm that barreled through home and it hasn't snowed once since we've been here.

ok...now i feel a bit better. sort of.
happy twenty ten.
xoxo

one little word

2009-12-28T10:29:00.000-08:00

every year Ali Edwards, challenges her blog readers to choose a word to celebrate the possibilities that a fresh, new year holds. i have participated for the past few years and tried to live each day with my word in the back of my mind. sometimes i succeed. more often i do not. this year i hope to succeed more and i believe the word i have chosen reflects that hope.

FOCUS...
as a noun: an act of concentrating interest or activity on something.

and also

as a verb: pay particular attention to.

something that has been lacking in many aspects of my life for way too long...
focus on family
focus on me
focus on creating
focus on learning
focus on following through
focus on the wonderful little things of everyday and the big picture of what's to come
focus.

do you have a word for 2010?

scrapblog fun

2009-09-03T21:35:00.001-07:00

more picnik fun...

2009-08-26T14:35:00.000-07:00

playing on picnik again...

the originals

and loving the results...

sophia's eyes were closed when i snapped this, but i loved the perspective, so i cropped it down and focused on the polish bottle...yellow is her favorite.

my little guy is just a little ham when the camera comes out. always cheesing for the momma...this photo was cute, but kinda blah. i really love the way it turned out...

i was sitting in my car, getting ready to head into the dundee dell to meet the crew before the janglepop show at the '49er and loved the look of this old clock. so i messed with the photo to make the picture fit the feeling of the clock...i think the last one is my fave.

xoxo
a

good morning beautiful thursday...

2009-08-20T07:43:00.000-07:00

if i were to walk outside right now
with closed eyes
i would swear it was the beginning of fall
and not the end of august.

this is one of those days when
i'm feeling so serene
although the morning was a tad hectic
now
sitting here at the kitchen table
windows open
hot coffee
giggling with wyatt
calm
deep breaths

peace.

i hope your day is peaceful.
xoxo
a

tuesday stream of consciousness...

2009-08-18T07:28:00.000-07:00

loads of random thoughts going through my head the past few days...

*questioning lots of things these days, including my dedication to this blog...i know it's just for me, but seriously, i spend enough time online to drop by and post more than once every 4 months...
*seeing just how totally thrilled Sophia was to begin Kindergarten yesterday made it very hard to feel sad about my little girl growing up...but i was a tad bummed, couldn't help myself. i am her momma after all & no matter what, she's my little sunshine peanut bubba-boo.
*having breakfast shortly with Becca to discuss a potential new opportunity...more about that later.
*witnessing the true power of prayer very up-close & personal lately...
*really wanting to learn to use a sewing machine properly & not be intimidated by changing out the thread!
*missing my SIS girls more than words can say. having met women who GET it, GET, ME...so very thankful. feels like i've known them forever; instant comfort with their presence.
*haven't had much of a mojo since returning from SIS Live, which really bums me out. art area is a DISASTER...which overwhelms me and totally stifles my ability to make stuff. this sucks...
but i do feel like i am emerging from the fog...
*started working out again. always amazed how great it feels. praying i can make the commitment stick. Wyatt is now almost 2 & 1/2, we aren't planning on having more babies, and momma wants her body back. not only for me, but for my family & overall health...
*my dear Auntie Lois & Uncle Peter are renewing their wedding vows in October & i'd really like to trek up to MN to be there...they have been married for 60 some years...amazing.
*wanting to dive into Amanda Soule's new book, A Handmade Home. rushed out and bought it last tuesday when it came out and have barely opened it. now that life seems to be easing up and we will be getting back into the routine that brings summer to a close, i hope to make some more time to devote to reading...

xoxo
a

Charms for SIS Live...

2009-05-27T13:20:00.001-07:00

Had a total blast making these charms...
i had an idea in my head for awhile and they came together even better than i had envisioned.
one of my favorite things about creating is the organic, free-flowing process. y'know when you have a thought and you follow it and it doesn't quite come out the way you had envisioned? but what you end up with is somehow better than what you began with?

love that...

it happened with the charms. began with my original idea and as i was creating, i made a few adjustments i hadn't thought of. added a few things. didn't end up doing one or two.
it was freeing.
and inspiring.
and relaxing.
and i took lots of deep breaths, which is always good.

Picnik...very cool

2009-03-27T11:35:00.000-07:00

I love to tinker around with my photographs, but have not dedicated the time to learning PSE. Frankly, I don't know if I could even open a file without having to look at some sort of tutorial. So, through my fave site, SIS, I learned of Picnik.

And, I must say,
I
am
stoked.

It is so easy to use.
The results are ridiculously cool.
You can undo any action.
Post to Facebook.
Email your photos.

I love it! and have been playing with it, A LOT!
Aren't the results cool?!

xoxo
amy

100 Truths or Another timesucking Facebook Q & A

2009-03-26T11:21:00.000-07:00

100 Truths! Found this on Facebook and since I have been woefully neglecting my poor, little blog, I thought I would post my answers here...

1. Last beverage→ OJ
2. Last phone call→ Shauna McCoy
3. Last text message→ Scott
4. Last song you listened to→ Total Eclipse of the Heart
5. Last time you cried when Scott's Grandma died a few weeks ago

SIX HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Dated someone twice → not that i recall
2. Been cheated on? um, yeah
3. Kissed someone & regretted it? more than once
4. Lost someone special?→ yes
5. been depressed? yes
6. Been drunk and threw up? many, many times...

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
1.orange
2.aqua
3. brown
4. green

HAVE YOU:
1. Made new friends →of course
2. Fallen out of love → most definetely
3. Laughed until you cried → yes
4. Met someone who changed you-- absolutely, and i thank God for her every day
5. Found out who your true friends were --> YES
6. Found out someone was talking about you→ yeah
7. Kissed anyone on your friend's list→ Facebook friend list? uh, yeah
8. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life → more than half
9. How many kids do you want to have→ i'm good with two
10. Do you have any pets → dogs, 2 big, stinky, hairy ones
11. Do you want to change your name→ no
12. What did you do for your last birthday→ had a pedicure & facial
13. What time did you wake up today → 8 am
14. What were you doing at midnight last night: falling asleep
15. Name something you CANNOT wait for → SISiversary in June
16. Last time you saw your father→ Monday, when i stopped by my parents house.
17. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life ---the experiences i have had have shaped where i am today, so i would not change a thing. Besides, God is in control, not me.
18. What are you listening to right now → Noggin, Law & Order, and the dog scratching to come in.
19. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Um, yeah, what a random question
23. What's getting on your nerves right now? my serious lack of disorganization
24. Most visited webpage → Facebook

1. What's your name→ Amy
2. Nicknames→Aim, Mom, Mommy, Momma, Babe, Aimer
3. Relationship Status → Married
4. Zodiac sign: aquarius
5. Male or female or transgendered→ FEMALE
6. Elementary-->Columbian, for 6th grade
7. Middle School → Beveridge
8. High school ---> Burke
10. Hair color → brownish with highlights, which i need to have touched up...
11. Long or short hair --> Long
16. Height →5'10"
17. Do you have a crush on someone? oh yeah
18: What don't you like about yourself? → i can't sing worth a lick
19. Piercings → my ears
20. Tattoos → 2
21. Righty or lefty →Righty

FIRSTS :
22. First surgery → never had surgery, knock on wood
23. First piercing → ears
24. First best friends-----Meri Steinberg
26. First sport you joined → soccer
27. First pet --> dog
28. First vacation → ?? we went a lot of places when i was a kid.
29. First concert → The Violent Femmes at Peony Park
30. First crush --> Rick Springfeild
31. First kiss --> sometime in grade school, we were playing truth or dare during recess
32. First job -->busing tables

RIGHT NOW:
49. Eating → just finished
50. Drinking → coffee
51. Wearing --> Life is Good tee & jammie pants
52. I'm about to → print coloring pages for Sophia
53. Listening to → didn't i answer this question already?
55. Waiting for →naptime!

56. Thinking --> make some time for myself today!
57. Want to live --> my life with no regrets
58. Want kids --> I have 2
59. Want to get married --> I am.
60. Careers in mind - scrapbooking, wine

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
68. Lips or eyes → eyes
69. Hugs or kisses → kisses
70. Shorter or taller → taller
71. Older or Younger → doesn't matter
72. Romantic or spontaneous → romantic
73. Nice stomach or nice arms → nice strong arms
74. Sensitive or loud → sensitive
75. Hook-up or relationship →relationship, i am too old and married for a hook-up
76. Humorous or serious --> humorous
77. Trouble maker or hesitant--> trouble maker

HAVE YOU EVER :
78. Kissed a stranger → yes
79. Drank hard liquor --> yes
80. Lost glasses/contacts → yes
81. Sex on first date --> yes.
82. Broken someone's heart → yes
83. Had your own heart broken --> Yes
84. Wanted someone you know you can't have --> yes
85. Been arrested → no
86. Turned someone down --> yes
87. Cried when someone died → YES
88. Liked a friend that is a girl? → yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself --> always
90. Miracles → yes
91. Love at first sight —> maybe
92. Heaven → yes
93. Santa Clause – > ;-)
94. God --> YES
95. Kiss on the first date? →yeah, yeah
96. Angels --> yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? i'd be thrilled if my sweet hubby were home
98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? no
99. Done something you regret? of course, but what is the point of regrets anyway?
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? i don't get this question...

xoxo
amy

SISiversary

2009-02-25T09:24:00.001-08:00

simply
cannot
wait...

Happy Valentine's Day to us...

2009-02-15T14:02:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful day Scott & I had yesterday! The monkeys are spending the weekend in Kansas City with Grandma & Papa, so we have the WHOLE WEEKEND FREE!

YIPPEE!!!!

We slept in, had an awesome brunch at Baileys, ran a to Borsheim's to pick up my ring that was being fixed, shopped at Whole Foods, which was insanely crowded. We thought maybe lots of people were cooking at home last night instead of going out. Scott spent TONS of time in the beer cooler, reading all the labels! We stopped by and said hi to my parents; my dad got out of the hospital yesterday, a great Valentine's Day present for my mom.

After the running about, we came home and took NAPS! Something we never get to do unless we snuggle down with one of the kiddos! Glorious!

A late dinner was next on the agenda. I had been planning the menu in my head all week. We had an awesome bottle of wine picked out and I wanted the meal to totally compliment the 2006 Newton Claret we would be sharing.

I decided to make crab cakes with this delicious Pink Lady Apple & Pear salsa we found at the market as a starter, lamb chops with a cherry & Port wine reduction sauce, sauteed spinach with roasted garlic and oven-roasted potatoes with herbs as our main. We chose a cheesecake with chocolate drizzled raspberries for dessert because I generally don't bake!

The meal was so yummy! I marinated the chops in garlic, rosemary and olive oil, then seared them off in a saute' pan with some really delicious European butter. The herbal cherry flavors of the Newton Claret totally grooved with the lamb...divine! I roasted the potatoes in a combination of the butter and olive oil until they were nice and crispy on the outside and creamy on the inside. The spinach was sauteed in a a roasted garlic olive oil. My mouth is watering just remembering...MMMMMM.

For dessert, I broke out a bottle of dessert wine I had been cellaring for quite some time. Friedrich-Wilhelm-Gymnasium 1999 Falkensteiner Hofberg Riesling Eiswein is a bottle I received when I worked in NYC. 1999 was a stellar year in the Mosel-Saar-Ruwer region of Germany and this wine could certainly stand up to 10 years in the bottle. It was no disappointment! Gorgeous aromas of honey, crisp sweet apple and zippy acidity had us both swooning. With a wine like this, there was really no need for dessert, but we managed to eat some cheesecake anyway!

yummy butter, rosemary & roasted garlic for the potatoes...

lamb chops...mmmmm

delicious wines...

Hope you had a love-filled Valentine's Day.
xoxo

Good Morning...

2009-02-12T08:59:00.000-08:00

Hmmm...

Where to go from here.

I am puzzled by this blog thing...

No one could possibly want to know the mundane details of my everyday life...

Or do they?

I guess I like reading others blogs...

Hearing about what they do...

Am I over-thinking this?

Trying to be too clever...

worry too much about how "cute" my blog is...

wondering about the "right" things to say...

let it go

this is for me...

xoxo

The first post...

2009-02-11T22:40:00.000-08:00

what the hell do you say?

Hi...

my name is Amy...

I say "Seriously?" a lot...

(but i couldn't put the ? in the blog title, so you'll just have to imagine it there...)

I thought about "oh, snap" but that was taken...

another phrase I overuse...

Hmmm, I'll figure this out.

Something I've been wanting to do for awhile...

create a blog, I mean...

my biggest concern is the time I have (or don't have to devote to it)

but, I'm gonna let go of that...

and just

go for it...

xoxo

amy